Strike Witches – Episode 1

I have a long standing attraction to all things loli. So when I heard about the Sky Girls clone that’s set in the mid 20th century, I knew I just had to check it out. If for nothing else, then purely to check out its lolis. After watching it I just had to blog about it. So here is my running commentary of the first episode.

We get introduced to the setting and background of the story by way of an opening narration. I think production companies are opting for these so they don’t actually have to hire decent writers that can explain the background through good writing. Anyway The story is set in 1939, and some mysterious and unknown enemy, called Neuroi, appeared via a giant black swirly thing. It’s later revealed that they are actually a secret experimental weapon developed by Nazi Germany that went berserk and started on a bloody rampage. Nah I’m just kidding, but considering odd time period the anime is set in, plus the fact that it’s produced by GONZO, it’s not that far-fetched.

“An unknown black swirly thing… let’s all fly into it!”

To combat these aliens, the nations of the world decided to develop magical propulsion units called Striker Units. They can only be piloted by underaged witches. Actually it’s not specified in the anime that they have to be underaged, but you’d think they are choosing these girls for reasons other than, “lolis look hawter in mecha”.

Why do the blueprints look nothing like the final

These witches are gathered from all over the world to jointly combat this new enemy. They are called Strike Witches. I still find it hard to believe that the entire world would’ve united as one basically months prior to the start of WWII, but then again realism and GONZO never went together.

Omg what happened to America?

Sharingan!

We get an action sequence with all the girls to kick the episode off and also to introduce their pantsu, I mean… to introduce the characters. Anyway let’s have a count of the number of pantsu close-ups in this sequence.

Ichi…

Ni…

San…

Yon…

Okay, I give up, we’ll be at this all day if I continued. I counted roughly a dozen actual close-up. For what purpose they have in an action sequence, I don’t know.

In true Sky Girls fashion, finish it off with a sword

Since we moved away from the military that was so obsessed with hawt lolis in pantsu, I thought we won’t seeing anymore fanservice for a while. Right?

Wrong

Apparently GONZO is intent on filling this series with as much pantsu shots as possible, and they are not going to let something as insignificant as realism stand in the way. Yes, that is the actual school uniform. I initially though it might have being PE or something, which by the way made no sense for 1939 anyway. I guess realism is no match for GONZO’s production team, and we are expected to believe that boomers are the standard uniform for school girls in 1939.

Also standard in Japanese schools, wearing a swim suit under your uniform, just in case your best friend has to rip your shirt off.

Either she’s extremely strong or that uniform is made out of the weakest fabric I’ve ever seen

Did I mention that the girl is called Miyafuji Yoshika and she’s a witch and a nekomimi? In this anime, those two amount to the same thing.

Millions of fanboys die of conflicting desires

So we finally get to the actual story after half the episode was devoted to fanservice. Major Sakamoto Mio has come to recruit Yoshika into the Strike Witches. You can tell that Mio fantasise having hawt lesbian sex with Yoshika but is afraid of scaring her away by being too upfront. I hate her. She looks like your everyday loli in uniform, but she acts and sounds like a pedophile.

“I want to have hawt lesbian sex with you!”

“Yes ma’am!”

You just know that some kind of plot twist has to happen here otherwise we won’t get a series. As expected, it comes, in the form of a letter from Yoshika’s dad that arrives some 5 years after his death.

Damn you Fed Ex… for continuing this lame anime

Of course… letters in Japan are addressed in English

She was a Major at the age of 6? The military must be shorthanded.

Yoshika decides to travel to Britannia to find some clues about her dad. Yes you heard me Britannia. Either GONZO is trying to leech some publicity from Sunrise, or they just have a thing for Latin.

“Umm… I don’t swing that way…”

*shock* *gasp* *die*

Was there a clause in the Geneva Convention that decreed all girls under the age of 12 must go around in pantsu?

Surprise sex!

Supposedly the journey has taken a month. In that time, Yoshika succeed in keeping all the men on board the ship in a perpetual state of sexual unrest. I’m surprised that she seriously hasn’t being violated yet. On that note, please explain how the Commanding Officer of the only unit in the world that can combat the Neuroi can just go on a trip for two months. Did they expect the enemy to just go on hiatus for all that time?

Magical Lyrical Girl Nanoha-chan anyone?

Completely pointless CGI insert

She mounts the Striker barefoot, and dismounts with shoes. Hmm…

Clearly, the pantsu shots weren’t enough for GONZO, they needed to insert a bikini somewhere in the episode too. However, I’ll give them one thing, I’m seriously dying from overexpose to moe.

That zip leaves very little to the imagination

Oh and they get attacked by a Neuroi. Like we didn’t expect that one. I think this series wins the predictable plot award of the year hands down.

Why do lasers in anime all bend?

Honestly, this episode was so lame, so predictable, so illogical, and most importantly, so moe that I actually found it kind of enjoyable. With that said, don’t expect me to continue blogging about it.

On another note, I don’t think GONZO is going to get very far if this is the approach they plan to take in order to get out of their financial troubles.